Roll With the Punches ~ Open

[Deleted]

"It’s time to lose your mind and let the crazy out
Tonight we’re taking names ‘cause we don’t mess around"

“Lost…lost…how the hell can I be lost??”

A Shinigami getting lost in Seireitei…some people would consider that basically like getting lost in your own house. What those people failed to take into account was the fact the Seireitei was freaking huge and whoever designed it was paranoid if you were being kind and crazy if you just were being honest. So, yeah, it was like getting lost in your own house…if you were a nut-case and lived in a labyrinth. Trying to navigate its twists and turns was utterly nerve-wrecking and it was pretty much impossible for anyone to retain their sanity after walking its halls. There was no point of reference or location and the only landmark was a tower that was in the middle…which never seemed to get closer or farther away, no matter what the hell you did. No matter which way you turned, everything pretty much looked the same. Turn right. White walls…turn left. oh, look, some white walls. Turn left again. Hey, look, some more white walls! It was hard to tell if you were going in circles or if it all looked the same.

"Crazy-ass…Shinigami…designers…what the hell was wrong with those people…?"

Sachiko, the Shinigami who’s sanity was currently at risk, was out of breath and out of patience. She had wandered the maddening halls aimlessly almost all day, trying to find her way back to anywhere familiar. It was a bit embarrassing for her to admit that in all her years in Seireitei, she had primarily ventured between the same two divisions and that was pretty much the extent of her exploration. If she ever tried to go beyond those parameters, she ended up in a situation very similar to the one she was in now. She had no idea where she was or even really how she got there…which was generally what happened when you chased someone without paying any attention to where that person was running. And so what had started as a hunt for a prankster (which rather resembled one of those amusing police chases she had seen during one of her trips to the Human World) had now become a quest to get back to her own Division with her mind intact. At this point, it was a quest that looked, at least from her point of view, pretty much hopeless (especially since every time she came to a fork, she just closed her eyes, picked a random turn and ran in that general direction for about an hour).

"Crap..." Her quest had just led her to yet another dead end. She turned around, giving up. It was time to begin looking for someone to give her directions (something she hadn't done until now out of pure pride). This meant, basically, doing the same thing she had been doing before but this time, doing it slower and hoping someone noticed her. "Well this has been an adventure..." she grumbled, turning the next corner sharply.

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Words ~ 488
Tags ~ Go for it...
Lyrics ~ "Blow" by Ke$ha
OOC ~
Poor Chiko-chan...it never occurred to her to jump up on a roof and just look from there...

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[Hirato Murano]

The wind whistled quietly, passing through the pure white buildings of Seireitei. The sun gleamed in the middle of the sky, signifying the beginning of the afternoon. Sunlight reflected off the lightly colored buildings, while a gentle breeze caressed hair of nobles and Shinigami alike. Temperate accurately described the day at the moment, an excellent time to relax and enjoy the weather; however, the crimson haired shinigami leaping from rooftop to rooftop did not seem even slightly nonchalant.

He was not relaxing at all; in fact, despite his wounds from a dangerous battle only two weeks ago, training continued, if somewhat lessened in fervor. His crimson hair became rather tousled with all of this activity; still, much of Hirato's agility remained dormant so that the wounds did not reopen. Glancing down at his chest all the way down to his waist, completely covered in bandages, the Third Seat reminded himself once again not to be overzealous. In the event that wounds of that magnitude and number reopened, there was certainly no chance of survival.

Pausing to examine the ground below him, he noticed a familiar face; Sachiko Kobayashi scurrying around, attempting to reach some location. She definitely required assistance, and although Hirato disliked being interrupted during training, this situation necessitated it. Speaking loudly enough for her to understand, he said, "Do you require some assistance, Sachiko?" The answer to this was already apparent, but the Third Seat preferred being polite. He stood on the rooftop, awaiting her response. Most likely, it would not disappoint him; the frequency of the two encountering one another seemed quite remote. Perhaps fate did exist, after all.

[Deleted]

--close your eyes
---and i'll close mine

Well, so far, her new plan was going about as well as her old one. She was still lost, still frustrated and still about to lose her mind. This was absolutely infuriating and it took every ounce of strength she had not to start destroying walls and buildings. That would make it easier to tell where she’d been, at the very least and heaven knew it'd make her feel better. She seemed to be so far out that there was absolutely no one around and every time she thought she saw someone, they were gone before she could even confirm their existence. She growled under her breath as she took another turn and found herself faced with another fork. “This is ridiculous!” At this point, she was going to be fondly remembered as the Shinigami who lost herself to death.

What a way to go... After a bit of thought, she turned left and started running. Why didn't this damn place have landmarks?

“Do you require some assistance, Sachiko?”

She had been so wrapped up in her quest that she hadn't even noticed the reiatsu of the approaching Shinigami. She stopped in her tracks at the sudden sound, almost tripping in her haste. She turned to look at the newcomer and immediately cheered up. When she saw who it was that had found her, her eyes widened in surprise. “Hirato-san!” she greeted eagerly, bouncing on her heels with excitement. What were the chances that someone would stumble upon her and that it would be someone she actually knew! She and the red-head had met several times before and he seemed to be a pretty good guy...at the very least, nice enough to help her! Why was he out this far, though? Last she’d heard, he was recovering from a fight with some Hollows and even she couldn't imagine wandering Seireitei in the state he was in.

Then, she remembered that he’d asked her a question and her smile faltered a bit. She fidgeted and remained silent while she tried to find the least embarrassing way to admit her situation. “Well...I seem to be a bit lost," she finally managed, rubbing the back of her head. Now, assuming he didn't laugh at or otherwise ridicule her, she would be all cool for asking him for help.

An idea occurred to her and she jumped up to the rooftop near him. She looked around from her new, slightly higher vantage point, but after a few moments of searching, she sighed and her shoulders slumped in defeat. "Damn." She still had no idea where she was. "Yeah...lost..."

---i'm not faithless
--just paranoid

414 | words
hirato murano ~ | tags
"so i thought" flyleaf | lyrics

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[Hirato Murano]

Hirato listened intently as Sachiko responded to his presence. Clearly, she was pleased but also a bit embarrassed by her current situation. He didn't really understand how a centuries-old Shinigami couldn't navigate around their own home, but the Third Seat decided not to ridicule her. Sachiko was a comrade and he assisted any comrade who required it. Glancing at the female's face, the crimson haired man noticed an unspoken inquiry. Indeed, it did seem peculiar that the blue eyed man would even be present in some remote corner of Seireitei.

"I was training," the Shinigami said, addressing her silent question. Examining the area with a pondering gaze, Hirato realized their general location. The journey back to the division barracks would be a lengthy one; however, the noble had memorized every route in Seireitei. No issue could arise about if they were traveling in the correct direction. This knowledge seemed to be most vital, as returning to the familiar portions of Sereitei might prove extremely difficult otherwise. Some positive aspects of this situation existed, though.

He had a companion who was, at the very least, interesting. Solace remained more attractive than companionship, but on a dilatory trip such as this, boredom could easily become excessive if by oneself. Quickly, he solved the problem of their direction of travel. Sereitei's center lay southeast of them, which he assumed was Sachiko's destination. Breathing slowly, Hirato prepared his body for leaping from rooftop to rooftop. Typically, that simply wasted time, but with his wounds, it became necessary. Mentally berating himself for not being powerful enough to prevent this physical damage, the Third Seat spoke.

"Follow me."Then, he leapt from rooftop to rooftop; the Shinigami's footsteps reverberated while he departed for the heart of Seiretei. Speed was reduced in his leaps, though. Aggravating wounds could cause severe consequences. Retaining hope that she was following, the lone Murano continued on. The sun reflected their shadows, marking the beginning of the adventure. Finally, it began.

[Deleted]

--close your eyes
---and i'll close mine

As she stood up on the roof, Sachiko decided that this was going decidedly better than she’d thought it would. She was still lost, but hey! Salvation! She doubted Hirato-san would leave her by herself and even if he did, she could always just track him (since he seemed to be the only person who was crazy enough to wander out this far). Thank the heavens, he didn’t seem to be too amused by her plight. She had no doubt that he was, at least to some degree; who wouldn’t be, honestly? But she was at least grateful he wasn’t vocal in his amusement. If he was, she probably would have refused his help just out of sheer pride and then she’d be royally screwed.

"I was training," he said, looking around. He was probably answering the question she hadn’t asked (though his response led her to wonder if maybe she had mumbled it aloud or something; she was prone to doing that). She also cast a glance around, but, just as before, she had no idea where she was and no way of judging where she was going. At this point, she was completely at his mercy….a position that, while she knew him and trusted him well enough, was one that she never really wanted to be in with anyone. She actually flinched when the thought occurred to her. Maybe she could find a way to have him give her instructions or something…

"Follow me." The red-head’s abrupt words broke Sachiko out of her thoughts and she looked at him with a quiet, "Eh?" Or…she looked at where he had been. By the time she found the spot he had been standing, he was already gone, heading off in a direction she sincerely hoped would be helpful. She immediately leapt after him. Guy really doesn’t waste any time, does he?

Even as Hirato-san led her to wherever he was leading her, Sachiko couldn’t say that a damned thing looked familiar to her. It all looked the same to her. Though she’d never admit this to anyone, it kinda always had. Unless she had some point of reference or, more commonly, someone to track, she couldn’t navigate this place with a map, a compass a bloodhound and a beeper.

"Where exactly are we going?" she asked suddenly, realizing belatedly she had absolutely no idea. Frankly, it would be counter-productive if he were just taking her along with him on his training because, no matter where he was going, it probably was nowhere near where she was going, and she was probably going to end up more lost than when she started. That was the opposite of what she was going for here. She couldn’t help wondering if he knew where she was going. Not that it mattered, she supposed...there were really a limited number of places she could possibly want to go.

Crap.

"I apologize for inconveniencing you like this," she finally said, getting a little bit uncomfortable with the silence. Even though she knew Hirato-san wasn’t much of a talker, she hated the silence and couldn’t go terribly long without talking or making noise. She hoped he didn’t get too annoyed with her. Her sanity was in his hands.

---i'm not faithless
--just paranoid

540 | words
hirato | tags
"so i thought" flyleaf | lyrics

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[Hirato Murano]

Hopping from one rooftop to another, Hirato gazed straight ahead toward his destination. He assumed her destination was the eighth division, but a detour had to happen before that. Captain Unohana did remind him to have his bandages changed once a day; the Third Seat listened to her advice, of course. Her position as a senior Captain and the most exceptional medic in the entire Gotei provided legitimacy to those reminders. Returning to the current situation, he noticed Sachiko inquiring to their course before apologizing.

"First, the fourth division, because my bandages have to be changed, per Captain Unohana's instructions. Then, the eighth division, which I assume is your destination." The Shinigami's blue eyes remained fixed straight ahead while he contemplated her apology. Although it was certainly polite and appropriate for the situation, she was a comrade. Whether in combat or in a simple matter like this, the crimson haired man had already decided to assist any ally who required it. That remained his position throughout the centuries. Nothing could ever cause reconsideration about that; honor still retained its throne in the Shinigami's psyche.

Meeting her blue eyes with his cerulean, the Zanjutsu expert uttered a reply. "It's not much of an inconvenience, but thank you for your politeness anyway." Glancing back toward Seireitei, the severity of the wounds struck him. Normally, his speed exceeded this by far, even when not being fully utilized, but now it had been reduced by a fair amount. Still, berating himself would not cause his body to recover any more quickly. That battle could have destroyed him and all the comrades fighting alongside, yet by cooperation and strategy, the Hollow were defeated. Shinigami by no means possessed every advantage over their adversaries; however, teamwork was one of them.

Musing about the eternal conflict between Hollow and Shinigami occupied Hirato's mind while hopping from one rooftop to the next retained his physical concern. Aftereffects of the Winter War continued to alter the human world, awakening more formerly dormant spiritually aware individuals. It seemed to be mostly a negative change, since Hollow now attacked Karakura Town with even more ferocity and in greater numbers than before. At least many of the humans realize what is causing all of these deaths, the lone Murano thought. A lack of knowledge of the cause of something, to him, appeared to be more frightening than understanding of it; even if the cause was horrifying.

[Deleted]

--close your eyes
---and i'll close mine

Thankfully, it didn’t look like Sachiko was going to be doomed to a long and silent journey across Seireitei. Though not the most talkative of companions, at the very least he spoke when spoken to and, at this point, that was more than good enough for her. He was, for the moment, her only conversation option. Any noise was better than silence. She doubted he'd appreciate it if she started talking to herself (another habit to add to the list of things she had found it was safer to ditch when introduced to civilized people).

"First, the Fourth Division, because my bandages need to be changed, per Captain Unohana’s instructions. Then, the Eighth Division, which I assume is your destination,” Hirato answered and she nodded. That made sense. He was pretty badly injured, after all. The statement also cheered her up significantly; of all the destinations he could have given, that was about the most appealing.

"Oh, yeah, that’s where I’m going…or, trying to go,” she confirmed. “Though, honestly, Fourth is just as good!” Her voice was cheery. The two divisions Sachiko frequented: her own and, surprise surprise, Division Four. She herself had been on the receiving end of the Fourth Divion’s taichou’s “instructions” many times. She winced at the memories. She hadn’t always been (and still really wasn’t) the most attentive of patients and she was sure that they were getting a little sick of seeing her bruised face (or not; she was actually pretty good friends with some of them).

“It’s not much of an inconvenience, but thank you for your politeness anyway.” He deflected her apology easily and she rolled her eyes, sighing. A tad boring, wasn't he?

“Well I don't imagine you'd planned to meet someone this far out," she pointed out. She thought for a moment about his words and a little light went off somewhere. "Come to think of it, why are you training this far out by yourself in your condition? Something could have happened and you would have been all by yourself." Even she didn't do anything like that, and she was known for her recklessness!

---i'm not faithless
--just paranoid

354 | words
hirato | tags
"so i thought" flyleaf | lyrics

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[Hirato Murano]

The sun continued to shine down on them, casting their shadows on the uninhabited streets below. Hirato glanced back toward Sachiko as she replied to his words. Her final words confirmed what he already believed about her; she was concerned about others, even if they were fairly unfamiliar to her. Still, that statement presented a legitimate question, although answering it proved not difficult at all. Perhaps she has a point, the lone Murano thought. His body did continue to ache from time to time; training of this level would likely not aggravate any past injuries.

"Well, I suppose it is somewhat dangerous, but I was being careful not to overexert myself, so I doubt anything could've happened." His gaze shifted back forward when his reply was finished. The reason seemed rather simple to him; in the more populated sections of Seireitei, there were people and activity that would be distracting. Hirato had desired solace for his training and thoughts, and the remote regions of Sereitei provided just that. At least it had, until the Third Seat discovered Sachiko there. Leaping from rooftop to rooftop still might serve to train the crimson haired man's recuperating body, though. Pondering, the swordsman spoke again, to further explain why the training had been occurring so far away from the various division barracks. "I desired to train away from the activity of central Seireitei so I could concentrate better."

After finishing that sentence, the cerulean eyed man allowed silence to resume its reign once more. Memories of the battle that caused all these injuries flashed in his mind; yet again, Hirato recalled the personal source of determination to survive. Despite the fact that centuries had passed without him becoming a Captain, his goal remained the same. Sooner or later, he would become one of the powerful, white-robed superpowers of Seireitei. Momentarily returning the cerulean gaze to Sachiko, the Zanjutsu expert wondered what her goal was, or if she even possessed one.

[Deleted]

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--close your eyes
---and i'll close mine [/right]

Dear lord!! Even though she knew he couldn't see her, Sachiko still stuck her tongue out at Hirato-san after he answered. "Sure, sure," she agreed, nodding even as she resisted the urge to smack him upside his head. Yet another answer that left absolutely no room for conversation. What did it take to fill the silence, dammit?? "Still, better safe than sorry, I guess. Most people would have left you alone, I imagine." She had to resist the urge to apologize again, since finding her had probably ripped a big hole in whatever plans of solitude he might have had. Sachiko was many many things, but quiet wasn’t really one of them. She noticed him looking at her again and stuck her tongue out again, this time so that he could see it.

Wow, I must have been further out than I thought. Sachiko couldn’t help but feel admiration for herself for managing to wandering out this far from the beaten path, and even more admiration for Hirato-san for training out this far. She could barely feel the presence of other people but they were still so far off that finding her own way would have been next to impossible. She wondered if she’d ever find that damned prankster…well, she hoped he was just as lost as she was. She nodded her head slightly in satisfaction for this admittedly juvenile wish (never mind the fact that she was probably the only Shinigami who could get lost out here).

Dammit, more silence. Sachiko sighed inwardly, sifting through her mind to try and come up with something even remotely interesting to talk about. Everything she came up fell flat even in her own mind and she finally snorted in exasperation. This was absolutely hopeless! Talking to this man was so damned hard! She had the sinking feeling that anything she said would probably be given replies much like the ones she had already been given…resulting in more restless silences on her part.

“You know, you are probably the most boring conversation I’ve had in a very long time!” she said bluntly, reaching up push her hair away from her good eye. "I mean really!!"

---i'm not faithless
--just paranoid

362 | words
mr. boring | tags
"so i thought" flyleaf | lyrics

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[Hirato Murano]

Hirato's eyes widened as he noticed her insult and rather impolite action toward him. She certainly had irritated him, but perhaps Sachiko was correct about one thing. He may not be the most interesting person to have a conversation with. Still, the Third Seat could probably prove her incorrect after a bit of pondering. Ah, he thought. He had decided on something hopefully interesting to say in response to that insult. Hopefully, she would consider it interesting, as well.

Hirato sighed before speaking. "Have you ever really pondered whether our war is worth all of the suffering, Sachiko?" It was certainly one of the thoughts that often occupied the crimson haired Shinigami's mind quite frequently; to be honest, his mind had not answered the question yet. Perhaps it could not be answered. In any case, this question actually concerned the lone Murano on a very personal level. The love of his life had been claimed by the eternal war, by those damned monsters against which so many had perished. Shifting his gaze downward, he recalled all the events of that horrific night.

Shaking his head, Hirato refocused on the scene at hand; landing on the rooftop with a thud, the Zanjutsu expert advanced to the next one. The cerulean eyed man had to concentrate on the present or it was a disaster biding its time to happen. Just as the crimson haired man landed on the next rooftop, the wounds exploded in pain, causing him to slip and collapse onto the roof. Damn it, he thought while he stood up again. Although those wounds would eventually heal, the ones in his heart never could.

[Deleted]

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--the walls between us
---the saint within the sinner [/right]

Almost as soon as the words came out of Sachiko's mouth, she winced. Crap! That might not have been the smartest thing to say to him, true as it may have been. She sighed again when she realized that she had probably not only annoyed him, but probably sentenced herself to a long trip of, well...hellish torture or whatever else he decided to put her through. She knew better than most that you didn't have to attack someone to make them hurt and she also had faith in Hirato-san's ability to make her pay for it if she, say...insulted him, made a rude gesture, inconvenienced him...things like that.

Crap!!

"Have you ever really pondered whether our war is worth all of the suffering, Sachiko?"

She almost fell out of the air when he asked her the question; of all the things he could have said, that was one of the few that she would not have expected. Honestly, she had expected him to be more...well...angry with her. She hadn’t really ever said such things to a superior (and, technically speaking, he was her superior), but she was pretty sure that wasn’t what normally happened. She looked at him suspiciously…his voice wasn’t raised or upset or strained or anything she had learned to associate with anger, nor did he seem to be…terribly aggravated.

She didn’t know if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

As she thought back over the question he had asked her though, she sobered up in an instant and felt her mood puttering out. It brought some…particularly interesting memories. She had asked herself that question several times and had also been asked earlier in her life several times by…someone. She thought about it, her face troubled as she did so. It wasn’t a subject she really liked to dwell on anymore. If you had asked her years ago, her answer probably would have been very different and nowadays, she just didn’t think about it.

“I’ve…I have pondered it…” she finally managed. “I think…I don’t think…anything is worth all of the suffering this war has created.” Well…that was a truth, she supposed. “It’s a never-ending war; to me…nothing is worth that. But we’re so used to it that I doubt we would be able to do anything else with our lives…were it ever to end.” A life of fighting, a culture based off of fighting, and a job that entailed mostly fighting led to a person who fought and suffered and caused suffering and didn’t question it. That’s what a world of war led to. Soldiers.

Almost as soon as she finished her halting statement (and her depressing thoughts), she noticed something was off…right before Hirato-san collapsed down onto the roof below them. She let out a squeak of surprise and her heart almost stopped beating. In spite of her common sense, she looked around quickly to make sure there were no enemies nearby. Thoughts of war immediately vanished from her mind, immediately replaced with concern for her comrade. Though he stood up almost immediately afterward, she stopped beside him, her eye wide as she looked him up and down, searching for blood or any signs of his wounds reopening. "Hirato-san...?" she said softly, taking a hesitant step towards him. “Are you alright? Your wounds aren’t acting up, are they…? If we need to stop, we can,” she offered.

Well, he certainly wasn’t boring now!

---bury the fallen
--and lead the blind

569 | words
hiratoooo | tags
"into the nothing" breaking benjamin | lyrics

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[Hirato Murano]

Hirato cursed again as he clutched his side. His wound had exploded in pain at the worst possible second, causing him to collapse on the rooftop. He spat out a few flecks of blood and glanced behind toward Sachiko. Listening to her words, he replied quickly. "Yes, let's remain here for a moment." At least she was the only one who observed that moment of disgrace and possessed compassion, immediately landing next to him to confirm his well-being. The Third Seat shifted mental focus back to the matter they were just discussing.

Her response had been rather interesting and quite accurate. In this culture created for war, if it was ever finished, how could the Shinigami adapt? They had always been trained and instructed to be warriors; a world of peace could cause their downfall. Still, as Sachiko stated, the war would continue forever. Even Hirato, a very dedicated Shinigami, questioned whether the war's victories compensated for the countless lives it claimed. Sighing, the crimson haired man glanced back toward the female Fifth Seat. The discussion was a rather fascinating one in the intellectual sense and it would continue.

"Honestly, I'm uncertain whether it is worth all the suffering, either. This war has caused me to experience first-hand suffering of the most horrible kind." Gazing into the sunlight, the cerulean eyed swordsman recalled those dreadfully brief times of happiness spent with Teina. Misery swelled up inside him as it hadn't for many years. If he had been more powerful, she would have survived. At least, that was his belief, which inspired him to continually improve himself so that the Zanjutsu expert never had to experience suffering of that magnitude ever again. Hirato glanced at Sachiko, eager to hear her response and also to gaze into those blue eyes which shone with the same light his late loves' had possessed.

[Deleted]

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--the walls between us
---the saint within the sinner [/right]

Sachiko's face twisted briefly with concern when Hirato-san spat out some blood, but luckily he didn't seem to be coughing or swaying or doing any of the other things she knew meant something was really wrong. She did feel a small spark of satisfaction inside of herself, which she quashed merely out of guilt. She couldn't help sighing and pointing out, "See? I told you something might have happened!" But she acceded to his wishes, perfectly content to remain there until he felt well enough to travel again. And even once they did, she felt somewhat determined now to make sure he didn't tax himself again.

Luckily, Hirato-san seemed to be focused more on their discussion than on getting back up. That was good. She'd hate to have to force him to rest; she imagined that such a scenario would probably result in him being more injured than before. She knelt down where she stood, her eyes switching regularly from desperately scanning their surroundings and looking over Hirato to make sure he wasn’t doing anything stupid (like pacing or bleeding).

She blinked at his belated response to her hesitant conclusion, and curiosity immediately rose up in her mind at his last sentence. She bit her lip and forced her thoughts away. Despite the fact that she was itching to ask him what he meant specifically, she was determined to push it aside for now...she had already insulted him once before and she decided that further provoking or poking at him would not only be mean, but also very unwise on her part; injured though he was, he was still more powerful than her (if rank meant anything).

His words did inspire a bit of melancholy in her, though. Even though war took from everyone, she always hated to see people who had been more strongly affected. “Well…I suppose I can relate to that,” she finally said, thinking back to what she herself had lost. “But I was always taught that if something is so inevitable, you should try to just get around it and live your life anyway. Be grateful for what you have while you still have it, you know? Inevitably, you're going to lose it.” She shrugged, trying to be as nonchalant as she could while speaking these admittedly rather glum and hardly comforting words.

Granted, that philosophy had always been applied to food and shelter, but she supposed it probably applied here as well.

---bury the fallen
--and lead the blind

410 | words
the one with a sad face| tags
"into the nothing" breaking benjamin | lyrics

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[Hirato Murano]

The sun illuminated the crimson man's face as he listened intently to his female companion. Not surprisingly, her first words were a reprimand, one he likely deserved. Sachiko spoke again, responding to what the Third Seat had said about the war. She had also experienced misery because of this war; she truly understood his emotions about it. Her philosophy about life seemed reasonable enough. Enjoy what you have while you still have it. Closing his eyes for a moment, Hirato wondered what his life might be like if Teina hadn't been killed by that wretched monster.

Opening the cerulean eyes again, the Shinigami glanced at Sachiko again. He wondered, as she likely did of him, who or what this war had stolen from her; had it been a lover, a brother, a friend? If it was an ally, the death likely occurred in battle, a most honorable end for a warrior. Was warriors all they were allowed to be, though? Hirato doubted it. Once upon a time, he too had been a lover, before the war had crushed the fledgling flower, leaving it to wilt silently.

"It's an emptiness, isn't it? It leaves you to question whether their death was justified. Honestly, even though I'm a soldier, I'd relinquish that in a moment if it meant my love could return to me." Although he usually refused to speak of the matter, especially with someone that wasn't familiar with him, Hirato decided to for the reason that Sachiko understood. She realized the misery, the loneliness, all of it she comprehended; brushing some dust off of his clothes, the wind rustled his crimson hair as if it to comfort him. Nature didn't suffice for that. Nothing save one unattainable feeling could ever close the hole in his heart.

[Deleted]

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--the walls between us
---the saint within the sinner [/right]

At Hirato's words, though, Sachiko found herself wondering if she would give up her life as a Shinigami, if she would turn her back on all of her work, if it meant it could bring Sasuke and Rena back to her. Being a Shinigami is what had taken them away, after all. For a few moments, there was just silence which, unfortunately, gave her plenty of time to think about it. The urge to punch something was growing rapidly inside her.

She finally returned his gaze solemnly."Empty...yeah. Like you're all alone again," she murmured, turning her gaze out to the sky. "You used to tell yourself that the cause was worth it, but then that cause took everything you had, everything you cherished and suddenly you weren't so sure anymore," she continued, her voice slightly choked up. "Give up being a soldier...it's all I've ever done, all I've ever known. But if all that great war, if all the glory of being a Shinigami...if all that just means you have to watch your loved ones die again and again...? Why do you even bother fighting?”

It felt strange, talking about this. Ever since she had come to this place, there was one thing she had never spoken of, and this was it. She wasn't the kind of woman who reflected on what she didn't have, on what she couldn't have, on what she had lost, especially when it was her own fault she had lost it. She didn't like complaining; she had always been taught to just shut up and take it. Show no weakness. Weakness was death.

The wind picked up and she hugged herself, reaching up to tuck her hair back into place. "But once the line has been crossed, you can't go back." She closed her eyes and sighed at the irony of that. Hadn't he said that to her, all those years ago…? "You just have to keep fighting and just hope that somehow, someday, you will find something worth fighting for again."

There was a brief moment of silence as she pondered their words. She sighed. "Sorry about the dramatic speech. I tend to talk a lot when I'm upset..." It fills the silence.

---bury the fallen
--and lead the blind

369 | words
the slightly negative one | tags
"into the nothing" breaking benjamin | lyrics

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