An owed Apology

[toshirohitsugaya]

It was a boiling day as the blazing sun settled upon the high horizons giving it an orange foil. Hitsugaya would be walking his way to the 5th squad while being in a consolated and depressive mood. The young captain was going to visit his old intimate Momo to get news on her health...The regret that he had felt upon the stab which he gave her still hasn't recovered yet..And it never will it looks like...The feeling that he had toward that stab was like a thousand of needles piercing through every joint of his veins. Further more the hot scent which recoiled through the thick ground made Hitsugaya's brain dissolve. he hated heat! How can today be so hot!?

''man what is it with today... ''

Hitsugaya'd walk a few step toward the right and go to the left cornering the walls as he arrives at the Squad barrack. There he'd wait a few second before knocking the door thinking. Should he visit or not?..Maybe Momo would never forgive him..What would he ever do if she didn't? Would he be able to bear and carry on this rejection and depression through the rest of his days?It was all because of that damned traitor Aizen! Just thinking about him made Hitsugaya's hand grasp upon the heated stiffed air.

The boy'd try to calm down as he advances toward the door and gives a few knocks while asking in politeness.

''Hello anyone inside...?''

Hitsugaya wasn't in a good mood today and was surely not in a state to babble or chat with anyone, so he'd decided to do this quickly to feel the relief afterward. Hence he already started to regret his actions after knocking the door...He wasn't ready! What was he thinking!? What should he say now!? The boy felt distortion rising up from his spines as he tried to calm down and face the present situation.

[Lhin Demizu]

She had been sitting at her desk going over some paperwork sweltering in the heat. Raising a hand up she had wiped her brow cause of the heat. Leaning back in her chair she thought of what all had happened within her division including all of the betrayals that had happened. Placing down her quill she stood at her desk and started moving around to get some fresh air. It was after a minute or two after standing upon the balcony and getting the breeze to comfort her a little bit. Hearing a voice coming out from within the barracks she would exit off from the balcony and look out into the main room.

Seeing across the room she saw her fellow taicho Hitsugaya Toshiro. Heading out from there she would straighten out her hakama and walk closer to Hitsugaya. As she got within a few feet of Hitsugaya he would stop and clear her throat. "Oh Captain Hitsugaya. What brings you to my wonderful division on this hot day? You could of sent me a simple hell butterfly should you needed anything from me?"

She had a quite puzzled look on her face as she had not even heard that anyone was going to be visiting this day. Most of her division was off minus herself and a few of the lower seated members to maintain the division on such a hot day.

[toshirohitsugaya]

Hitsugaya'd look surprised upon the sudden captain presence as he taps his head to the back wondering.Eh!? What is captain Xiao doing here? Shouldn't her squad member come and greet instead?

''Eh!? What honor may I have to be greeted so suddenly be you Captain Xiao. Where are your squad members?''

Hitsugaya's voice would raise up a tone as he is intrigued about what is happening in her clan these days thought that wasn't the reason of why she came here...Thinking about it again would suddenly make the boy's head lower down with hesitation as he begins to speak slowly and quietly.

''Actually.. I've come to see how Lieutenant Hinamori Momo is doing... How's her health?''

The youth wanted to see her personally to give further explanations and excuses. What he had expected to be a unforeseen and secret meeting though now it would seem that things would be clear. Maybe Hitsugaya'd just ask how well she is doing and return to his squad afterward...The boy felt shame upon himself as he says that he is not worthy of the Captain title inside of his mind.

''Well I've been thinking...could ... could I see her personally for a while? It's just that I have to...Well...''

[Lhin Demizu]

As she stood there she could barely keep her excitement in. This had been the first time another taicho had come to either examine or even talk to her since she took over the fifth division. Noticing a little bit of shock on his face as to her greeting him she would show a shy smile and she woudl speak up. "I gave most of the division the day off. Most of them where complaining about the heat and I felt it better to keep those who did not want to work stay home. Plus it is helping me find out who is really wishing to turn around my division."

Her words where sure and steady as if she had rehearsed them many times before. It was not much longer until she would hear him speak of her fukotaicho Hinamori. Xiao raised her hand up and listened to him ask her about her health. Xiao gave an expression of surprise before speaking again. "Fukotaicho Hinamori? You are looking for her most recent report on her condition? I have the last report which was given to me yesterday. I have it back inside my office if you would follow me Taicho Hitsugaya."

With that she would wave her hand in a motion to have Hitsugaya follow her toward her office. Walking into her office she would walk her tiny frame hidden by the chair as she was searching for the file. Finding the file she stood back in front of her chair. "Here you are Taicho Hitsugaya. I have read it and it seems that she is fine but has still not been cleared for work yet,,,"

[toshirohitsugaya]

Hitsugaya's mind would be twisting in a constant comma as his heads goes like a spiral. The boy'd be soon invited as her guest to go in her squad as he follows her and gives a quick examinating on the area just for a short glance.

''Not bad here ..Unlike some squad that I've seen...''

Hitsugaya'd immediately get straight on the subject after finishing his sentence as he focuses on Momo. Well, that was his primary objective for coming here anyway though he'd still need to remain polite. There is a captain in front of him after all...

''So is it like...Quiet and smooth here all the time? It sure feels great to be here. My squad is rather troublesome to deal with.''

The boy'd feel embarrassed to say that out loud a little as he pretends to feel comfortable. Though what wouldn't be upon prediction would be the heal of Hinamori. Losing his captain senses and human calmness he'd immediately place his two hand upon the desk like a huge smash. There it goes Bam! As the boy personality completely changes. His turquoise and cold eyes would suddenly become that of a optimist and azure tightening feeling crunch while he says out loud.

''What!? Momo is still unable to work!? Is she ok!? Let me see her right away! Is she really as fine as you say!? Is she still resting!??

For a second there Hitsugaya'd lose his calm as a few second later he'd realize what he'd just done. An outburst of true feelings thought not that of one can be rather bare but rather the ones that the boy had accumulated long enough to suffer until this point. There he'd try to regain his formability as he takes a deep breath and calms down.

''I...I'm sorry...for my sudden outburst...Did I scare you?..I..I just..''

[Lhin Demizu]

"No it is not smooth around here all the time. Sadly there are many who see this division as one of traitors. I am still trying to fix this image..." As she spoke Xiao clenched her hand and it had tightened around the file she had in her hand. To her the fact that there where so many that thought of her division as traitors and the evil of the Soul Society made her sick. Her thoughts where disturbed however when the other taicho slammed his hands down upon her desk.

Looking at him she was wide eyed as his ill shown temper was outwardly being shown. That is when she heard him speak of Hinamori's inability to work and the outburst had her staggered backwards some. Her hand no longer on the file but clenched in front of her chest out of a small sense of fear of her fellow taicho. After he had calmed down Xiao was still taken aback some but attempted to speak to him. "Hitsugaya-taicho... She is.. fine as last I visited her a few days ago... As for your.. outburst... IT caugh tme offguard is all.""

As she spoke she was a little bit shaken still but had regained her composure. She hated confrontation and this had suddenly shot up to one even though she had not wanted it to go there. Closing her eyes for a second she would raise her hand up to her temples and seemingly calm herself back down with rubbing her forehead. "If you would of told me that you wished to see Hinamori I would of gladly of just shown you the way to her quarters inside the division, but as I said she has been resting."

As she spoke she would lean against her chair as another attempt to regain her mental faculties. After another few seconds she would speak back up. "But if you do not mind me saying this it seems that the wounds she has right now are not physical ones as those have all healed... These are more psychological. I fear that that traitorous bastard may of hurt her more than any of us may know..."

[toshirohitsugaya]

As Hitsugaya held in his corner with regret there he'd feel the sudden oposition of captain Xiao. Her voice was highered by half a tone proving her indulgence though Hitsugaya wouldn't blame her for his sudden disappointment.

''I'm..very sorry... I..''

The young captain word would be struggled inside his mouth as he tries to articulate. Though what is holding the words is not his mouth but rather his heart and self emotions. Hearing that her feelings have been betrayed by a traitor would be better fit to design anyone but him as the boy head held down.How could've he stabbed her right in the back?...

''I think I'll visit another time to check on her... I don't feel so well today..''

The youth had decided to come up with some sort of excuse to turn his eyes upon the truth as he lies. Thought is doing this really the right thing?Is this really what Hitsugaya truly desired?But what can he do when she's wounded not just physically but emotionally too? And if it turns out to be bad?What if Momo begins to hate him for real?...The boy scariest nightmare has yet come thought it would be just a matter of time before he gets rejected by his friends...Life...and then himself..

''I think I better get going...''

[Lhin Demizu]

Having regained her internal composure she forced it outward and she regained her own look of serenity. that is when she heard him mention that he would return another day to visit Hinamori. Xiao smiled at that thought. "She is lucky to have a friend like you Hitsugaya... Many people would kill to have a friend even half as loyal as you are..." Her words came out calmly even though with them she was reflecting back on her friend who had died in her arms Xiao unable to do a thing for her.

As the thoughts came to Xiao she would stagger from her position leaning against the chair and would walk over to the balcony that overlooked the divisional barracks. Reaching over to the side she grabbed a bottle of water and would pour herself a glass. "You do seem to have a rather lot on your mind Hitsugaya... I hope you do not mind me being so informal but I believe we both need a little bit of an unwinding. I have some water over here if you would like some. I will sit here and will not hold you to coming over and sitting down but I will not expect it."

With her words spoken and with glass in hand Xiao would walk over to one of the rattan mats on the ground and would sit down upon it and gaze out into the day.

[toshirohitsugaya]

Hitsugaya'd lend out a slight sigh as he looks over Captain Xiao. She seems to be in the same state as he is...It seems that she as some sinister and shallow memories also...Then she should understand him right? Hitsugaya'd calm down a little as he walks by the girl and sits down next to her.

''I'm sorry... I was a bit ... Well from the look of your face it seems that I wouldn't be the only one who's been suffering through these kind of circumstances...''

The boy'd expect her to talk sincerely, even if its just a little as he stares over her with an intrigued stare. What is it that could've happened to this captain?..Maybe it will have a link with someone. In any case, Hitsugaya wanted to know...For a solution...For an advice...For a way of peace!Maybe her story could tell the young boy what to do to fix up all the shattered pieces all together!

''So what is it that you've been hiding?..''

[Lhin Demizu]

Xiao had not been expecting the captain to actually come and sit down on the balcony. So when he did it rather surprised her. She would hear him speak an apology to her. For Xiao there was no need to apologize she was rather easy going when it came to situations like this one. It was rather stunning to her though when he asked her rather bluntly about wha tit is she has been hiding. Choking a little bit on her water she would cough some before clearing out her throat. She had never been asked bluntly about the things she was hiding in her past and this made her a little nervous.

"You ask me what it is I am hiding? Surely you are privy to most of the records of past exploits there Hitsugaya. But I doubt it is that you have read about this one.' Xiao would keep her back to Hitsugaya and clear her throat once again. "There was a mission about two hundred years or so back that I was sent on with one other shinigami. This shinigami and I had been friends since before we entered the academy and where the best of allies. Out there we encountered a rather strong hollow the creature pushed us both to our absolute limits at the time. During the fight on two seperate occasions she was harmed by a careless attack by myself..."

As Xiao talked it was evident that it was getting harder and harder for her to speak about the events but she trucked on to explain everything. "Then the hollow finished toying around with the wo of us and it released more energy than either of us had ever seen in a hollow... Then I saw the attack it launched at us as a blur. I was hit hard and impaled through my lower chest onto a steel railing..."

As she spoke of the injury you would see her place her hand on her back right where the injury had occured. Xiao felt the scar that was there on her body and absentmindedly kept her hand on the stomach side of the impalement. "The hollow instead of just finishing me off came up and twisted the steel so that I could not remove myself from the spot and I had to hang there and watch the beast attack my friend savagely slicing into her. All I felt was helplessness and then something hit me and that was when I gained my companion here..."

Placing her hand on her zanpaktou clearly to accentuate the point that she had attained the true power of her blade upon that day. "I broke free of the hold the hollow had and killed the beast with Taifuu... Then I got to listen to my friends dieing words as I held her in my arms..." As Xiao finished speaking it was clear it was still upsetting to her all these centuries later.

[toshirohitsugaya]

As the female captain opened her mouth and began to speak , her sentiments would trench Hitsugaya into a deep depressive state. The inflation feeling which runs through her echoes has been sent directly onto Hitsugaya's mind reminding him of his pasts too. How could the world be so cruel toward peoples? Further more why to achieve one must always lose something?

''Yh-Yhea.. I understand that feeling..I've once lost a very good friend because of certain rules in soul society..''

These words that she out spoke carved directly into Hitsugaya's history as they merge in together making him having further flash backs...What was the name of his lost one again?...Due to having both the same zanpakutou Soul Society had to eliminate one in order to prevail on the right ceremony...Just because it was carved onto the Soul Society rules...Even up until now Hitsugaya'd rethink about it ever once in a while.

'' I'm sure you'll be alright.. Even thought that we lost close ones.. We've accomplished things and led our lives further on..''

Hitsugaya'd grin with hesitation as he ears her story more and more and actually gets surprised afterward. 200 years ago!? OH my god! But Hitsugaya wasn't even born 200 years ago! So..this young-looking female is actually way older than him!? Hitsugaya'd extend his arm just to brush through within his soft silver hair as he stares at her.

''Mhm..How old are you again..?''

[Lhin Demizu]

Her spilling everything that had occured to her was something she would normally not do. Especially to another person, but to her she would spill it to a fellow taicho as she figured she would need his help someday and her being honest with him would gain his trust. If only a little. She glanced over her shoulder and watched him run his hand through his hair and speak up again asking her age. Xiao let out a laugh at the question. "Which do you prefer to know Hitsugaya? The one that I tell people or the truth?"

As the words left her lips she would let out a laugh as to her it was humorous as many people always thought of her as a young soul of less than a hundred years of age. After a minute or two and after she heard what Hitsugaya would say she would stand and turn to face him. A rather simple looking smile was on her face as she spoke up again. "In reality I am 422 years old within the Seireitei. I have spent the entire time within the fifth division after graduating 380 years ago. I never pushed myself up the ranks as I never felt any urge until the betrayal of Aizen and what he did to Hinamori."

As she spoke her eyes would seemingly flare with a deep passion that she rarely showed outwardly. Continuing to speak the fire would slowly be more and more evident. "After he nearly had her kill herself by controlling her I pushed myself to show what powers that it was I have gained over the centuries. My mastery of kidou was second to only a few, I had mastery of my shikai, and the push I gained from Shimei's death pushed me to attain my bankai. I showed all of this after the events inside Karakura and that is how I gained this position. Sadly I was unable to demonstrate it before you Hitsugaya but I asked and got the test as soon as Yamamoto-Sotaicho was healthy from his injuries after the battle."