Divided We Fall(Kaoru)

[Kaoru Murano]

Kaoru's breathing picked up a bit, the situation turning towards events she was pretty sure she would never realize or hope would come true. It was true, she loved Hirato and continued to grow to love him as they spent more and more time together. Her feelings stayed the same no matter what Takashi told her, though her trust in him as a captain and teacher wavered still. Takashi's words still cut her deep, the betrayal felt by the 9th seat was great, so much so that even now she would avoid her brother at all costs. At this point, it was not hard because Hirato had limited her movements, which annoyed her quite a bit, but she felt slightly relieved when she didn't have much time to go out and get caught by her brother and 'kidnapped' on his little adventures. All that didn't matter at the moment because she was currently fighting her own feelings for the sake of social formalities observed within the Gotei 13 and Seireitei. She was from the rukongai, so she was used to not following them, but she was taught to never spite social formalities just because she didn't feel like it. It was mostly those of higher rank than her that told Kaoru to stay in her place, at which point she was sure to steer clear of any trouble, though that was wasted effort on her part. She would get into trouble regardless.

Kaoru now found herself breaking all of those rules, all for this impossible man in front of her. He was impossible to her for a few reasons. Despite the darkness in her heart (most of which he has not even seen yet) he still cares for her, he would love a demon such as her, that someone like him would even love someone like her. Kaoru didn't think she deserved love, not even Kyouya's. I...no matter what I say I can't keep putting up this wall. He just keeps jumping it or pushing through it, Kaoru thought to herself with a mental sigh. She was mentally exhausted from trying to think of more ways to push him away, and it was getting rather ridiculous to try anymore. So, she simply gave up trying. When she had moved back and voiced her last few objections, her fears over letting another in, she found that Hirato had pushed those aside as well. His deep voice resonating with her so well that her shaking body seemed to just stop. He had met her eyes, this time she did not turn to look away. he had said that he would not lose her, and that he promised, but Kaoru still felt a tiny bit of doubt with that. Akai Tsukihime then pipped up and spoke very wisely into Kaoru's mind. Everyone dies, Kaoru, you cannot protect everyone and keep them immortal. This man is just that, simply a man, and he loves you, so stop fighting him on the truth of your feelings.

Kaoru was about to mentally reply to her zanpakto, but she was suddenly looking into Hirato's eyes, which she could see how much he loved her, making her knees a bit weak. The darkness in her soul stirred with such strong emotions being brought out in Kaoru now, the chains tightened around her more as she felt his hand upon hers, making her blush a bit. She felt his other hand raise to cup her cheek, rubbing gently, making her blush go deeper red as she felt him lean down and speak into her ear, making her breath catch for a moment as his deep voice spoke quietly into her ear. Her hands reached out to clutch at his shirt, gripping tight as her face went redder at the statement that she should call him Hirato while it is just to two of them. "A-Ah, but, I can't....I-I---" She started to say but she was cut off by his sudden kiss. Her eyes widened slightly before they lowered and clung to him, her knees almost giving out. Surely this must be a dream... Kaoru returned his kiss hesitantly, as she wasn't familiar with such actions, and pulled away, her breathing quiet and slightly deep, her hand went to her lips. "I must be dreaming...." Kaoru said quietly as the darkness within her soul stirred again with her vulnerable state.

[Hirato Murano]

Hirato reassured her that he would accept her regardless of her shadows. The Captain moved closer to her in response to her backing away from him, smiling gently at the woman he loved. His cerulean eyes met hers and she did not look away this time, which made him smile wider, how much he loved her obvious in his gaze as their eyes gazed into each other. Hirato could sense that the darkness inside Kaoru was stirring and it concerned him, even though he believed that it would gain control over her again. Not now, anyway, the veteran Shinigami thought confidently, trusting in Kaoru completely as he always had. Hirato put one of his hands on hers and rubbed her cheek gently with the other, smiling kindly toward Kaoru as she blushed because of his actions. The crimson haired man listened to her begin to object to calling him by his first name and kissed her gently on the lips, cutting off her objections. A blush appeared on his face as he pondered how soft her lips were and the muscular man looked away in a vain attempt to hide his flustered face.

A soft smile spread across his face upon hearing Kaoru claim that this must be a dream and Hirato had to admit that he felt similarly but knew this to be reality. His hand on her cheek pinched her gently and the noble shook his crimson head in response to her words, dispelling them quickly. "No, this is reality, Kaoru," the crimson haired man replied quietly, holding her hand gently and smiling kindly. Hirato leaned forward and leaned his forehead on hers gently, feeling more at peace than he had in many years. The woman he loved had overcome her darkness and finally admitted her feelings for him, making him smile happily. All the problems and issues that reality forced him to confront on a daily basis seemed so far away now, banished from this scene by the love that the two of them felt for each other. Hirato kissed her gently on the cheek and his mind returned to her objecting to calling him by his first name when it was just the two of them. No was not an acceptable answer for that as far as he was concerned.

"You can call me Hirato when it's just the two of us, Kaoru," Hirato said reassuringly, smiling kindly at Kaoru, his cerulean eyes glowing with a kind light. Of course a 9th Seat calling a Captain by his first name was unacceptable according to the social customs of the Soul Society, yet that did not matter to him at all. Around others, they would have to maintain the facade and pretend they were simply teacher and student; when it was just the two of them, there was no reason to do so. Hirato leaned down and kissed her gently on the mouth, loving the feel of her lips on his. "There's no reason why we shouldn't address each other as we like when it's just the two of us, is there, Kaoru?" the Captain pressed on, knowing that she would bring up further objections to calling him by his first name. The Captain recalled that she had called him Hirato while under the influence of her darkness and he had enjoyed hearing her say his name, although he would prefer if it had happened under different circumstances. Hirato held her tightly to himself again, ignoring the pain it caused him; the Zanjutsu expert swore to protect Kaoru at any cost and live happily with her for the rest of his days.

[Kaoru Murano]

Kaoru was sure this was all a dream. She'd wake up soon in the warmth of her own bed, heart aching over her dreams yet again. She would not be surprised, this was not the first dream that felt realistic to her, and if this one was a dream, then it would not be her last. Kaoru's shadows rose a bit, causing doubt to once again take root in her heart, she wanted this to be real, but she was unsure if it really was or not. The darkness within her heart, her soul, had simmered now, keeping at a level that was normal for her, yet still quite high. She didn't like being put into situations she wasn't used to or able to read easily, so this one kinda threw her for a loop. She could still feel the brush of his lips on hers when he kissed her, the memory and action still making her blush deeply. Her hand had moved over her mouth as she moved back, looking up at him curiously and shyly, not sure what had just happened.

When she had questioned if this was all a dream or not out loud, she saw a soft smile cross his face, which made her heart flutter. His hand on her cheek pinched it lightly and she winced as she felt just a bit of the pinch, her heartbeat quickening more as she realized with both his action and his words that this was indeed reality. Her hand moved to over his on her cheek, her blue eyes looking up at him in both a slight wonder and pure speechlessness. She didn't know what else to say, her mouth wouldn't work, her heart was speeding up more and more she was close to him, and she had no idea what she was feeling at the moment. Emotions escaped her most times, except the ones she understood because of their simplicity. However, love was something complex that required time and more of to fully understand, something Kaoru knew and hoped she would get more of. She no longer had to hide what she felt around him; no longer had to hide her hopes and desires from him at every possible moment. This both made Kaoru's heart flutter a bit and then feel relieved. She blushed again when he had bent to kiss her cheek. She had imagined the feel of his lips on her skin, but the real thing didn't do her imagination justice.

He looked very happy, from what she could gather from his smile and calm and happy reitsu signature. She loved to see him with a smile on his face and decided she'd do whatever she could to try and get him to smile in the future. Her darkness now quieted down to a very distance quiver, keeping back due to Hirato chasing off her shadows with his kiss and hand on her cheek. She heard him say that she could call him by his first name, which made her look down with a slight frown on her face, her hands moving to grip his shirt lightly as she closed her eyes, shaking her head slightly. She couldn't allow herself to call him with familiarity, otherwise she'd slip up at times; mostly bad times. I have my mask, sure, but what if when we're both in front of another captain or officer or whoev-- Kaoru's thoughts got cut off suddenly by Hirato kissing her again. She kissed him back, eagerly this time as she pulled herself closer, no longer hesitant about the action. Erm....wh-What was I thinking about? Kaoru had to blink a few times in order to get her mind back on track after that kiss. She just barely caught what he said next.

She shook her head again. "I cannot! I'm already walking a thin line as it is with my use of formalities in the seireitei. If I'm allowed to call you by name between us, what's stopping me from accidentally slipping up if we're in front of another captain or someone else?" Kaoru knew it was a lame reason, but she was now grasping at straws. She blushed when she even thought his name. To speak it on her lips was something she couldn't make herself do. Not because she couldn't, but because it felt so personal, so very intimate, and she still held herself at some, albeit small, distance still from Hirato, not completely letting him in just yet. She loved him with everything she had, yes, but Takashi's words still pulled her down, still brought her back into the darkest reaches of her soul. He held her again, this time she embraced him back, lightly pulling herself closer, careful about his injuries now. To be honest, when she had heard that he was injured so badly, she was honestly fearful that he wouldn't be able to make a recovery. Now all her fears over that subject were wiped clean as she held the man she loved in her arms, safe and sound, though still injured badly, but in her arms nonetheless.

[Hirato Murano]

The crimson haired man kissed Kaoru on the cheek and smiled kindly at the woman he loved, happier than he had felt since the very first day of his relationship with Teina. His hand rubbed her cheek gently as she responded to his desire to call him by his first name, his cerulean eyes noticing her frown slightly and look down before his lips met hers again. Hirato felt Kaoru kiss him back eagerly and smiled happily, his reiatsu signature happy and serene. She had finally accepted her own feelings for him and welcomed his embrace, actions that made his heart leap and beat faster in ways that seemed far beyond his reach following the death of Teina. Hirato sensed that Kaoru was having difficulty recalling her train of thought after the kiss and smiled lightly to himself, concluding that his actual kiss on her lips greatly exceeded any dreams or fantasies entertained by the young woman. The 9th Captain held her close and listened to her objections to calling him by his first name, deciding to respond perhaps uncharacteristically in Kaoru's view since she mostly saw his solemn and serious side.

His student made perfectly sound and logical points, which usually would have warranted her teacher to respond similarly and refute her objections logically as he had several times earlier. Hirato decided to take an entirely different route and he replied jokingly, saying, "If you start to call me 'Hirato' in front of others, I'll give you this look," pausing to glance down toward Kaoru and frown deeply yet comically, filling his eyes with mock frustration before continuing. His humorous side had appeared in the midst of his happiness, a rare portion of his personality that Hirato allowed few the pleasure of seeing but still maintained it nonetheless. "That means silence," the 9th Captain pressed on in an amused tone, joking as his eyes filled with amusement and his finger moved in front of his lips in a mock shushing gesture. Hirato glanced to Kaoru and laughed heartily, hoping that she found his joke humorous and taking joy in the situation. Despite his happiness, the logical portion of Hirato's mind immediately continued onto the next subject that he had to address considering the events of the day.

Now that they admitted their feelings to one another despite the obstacles that stood in the way, there was another topic that required discussion. "Since we both feel the same way, we have to discuss our romantic relationship," Hirato spoke softly, an undercurrent of seriousness ebbing into his elated and serene gaze as well as his reiatsu signature. Thinking of such a relationship only made him even happier and the crimson haired man blushed moderately then offering, "I require more time for my wounds to heal, but would you like to go on a date with me once they've healed sufficiently?" his tone hopeful and vulnerable as his eyes met Kaoru's, still somewhat unsure of himself in these matters regardless of the feelings the two shared for each other. If Kaoru agreed, Hirato knew the perfect place for their first date and it seemed like a place she would enjoy, as well. No one but Hirato had visited there yet the crimson haired man was now letting her into his heart fully and wanted to share his happiness with her, taking away any pain that was inflicted on his beloved.

[Kaoru Murano]

Kaoru blushed a deeper red when he had made a joke. She honestly was taken by surprise by Hirato's sudden change in demeanor. After all, she was quite used to the serious and rather calm Captain that she always saw him be in front of her. At first Kaoru wasn't sure of what to do, but her body was honest with herself as she soon giggled at his joke, her hand automatically moving to cover her mouth as she laughed. She felt happier than she had in a long time; far longer than she cared to remember or could remember. This change in attitude immediately pushed back the shadows that had started to claw their way back into her heart. His kiss had exceeded any fantasy or daydream she had entertained while holding everything back. Her knees felt weak as her heart beat faster. She never felt this way before, and the experience was kinda making her dizzy, or was that his kiss? She didn't quite know. Kaoru looked up at him, amused by his joke and giggled again, a rare sound heard from the 9th seat.

Akai Tsukihime felt amused and happy by the mood Kaoru was in now; happy because the inner world in which she resides now was a calm and peaceful place instead of the dangerous world it began to be a few minutes ago. The night sky was clear with the blood red moon hanging in the sky overhead, a full moon. The young spirit smiled underneath her mask as she looked up at the moon while sitting on her favorite tree, enjoying the pleasant aura she was getting off of Kaoru. Akai Tsukihime hadn't ever really seen Kaoru this happy in a long while, at least not while she and her were paired up together. The young 9th seat looked up at the impossible man she came to love ever since their first meeting together that happened entirely on accident. Who know that a chance meeting with so many captains and my own lieutenant would turn out to bring such events about? Kaoru mused to herself mentally. "Alright then, Hirato, it's a deal," Kaoru said as she used his name, a blush lit her face lightly as she said it. She was still worried about her use of formalities, but pushed it away for now.

Kaoru nodded to him when Hirato had talked about discussing their relationship. She knew that she, herself, would prefer if nobody else but themselves knew about their relationship. It wasn't because she didn't want anybody to know she loved Hirato, it was because she'd rather not get all those unwanted questions and stares she had thought she was bound to get if she was ever found out. Most of all, she'd rather not have to face down her brother over this. While he knew that she was a grown woman now, to him, she was still a child. She listened more to him as he then asked her out on a date when his wounds had healed. Her breath caught for a moment. A date? A real date? Kaoru questioned in her mind as she looked up at him with slightly wide eyes. His wounds would heal, when, she didn't know, but the prospect of a date made her heart beat faster and her breath quicken. She nodded quickly, pulling him down slightly so that her lips brushed his, no longer shy about it since it was just the two of them right now. "Yes, I will go with you when you are all healed up." Now getting just a bit shy because she was the one instigating it, she pulled Hirato closer and lightly brushed her lips against his, then kissing him more fully as she deepened it. Her body radiated her happiness, her darkness now a distant shadow with Hirato so near to her.

[Hirato Murano]

Hirato glanced toward Kaoru and saw her blush an even deeper red at his joke, still somewhat uncertain about how she would react to such a sudden change in his demeanor since Kaoru was accustomed to his composed and solemn side. A light smile lit his face as she giggled because of his joke, apparently finding it amusing, which put him at ease. Seeing her so happy made him feel emotions that seemed almost foreign to the crimson haired man since they had departed him the day Teina died, never to return until today. The 9th Captain met her gaze and smiled happily, listening to her giggle again and loving the sound. Hirato glanced into her eyes and smiled wider, the love for her obvious in his gaze; his hand found hers and held it gently, struck again by how soft her hands felt despite her intense and regular training. Kaoru finally used his first name and a light smile spread across his face, hearing her say the word he had wanted her to for such a long time. "I'm a man of my word, so I'll keep my promise, Kaoru," the muscular man added lightly, his tone soft but honest. The former 3rd Seat had built a reputation of honesty over the centuries and always kept his promises no matter what, regardless of the sacrifices it took to maintain that opinion of him held by everyone who knew him.

His beloved nodded to him when he stated that they had to discuss their relationship and the cerulean eyed man continued, asking Kaoru out on a date once his wounds had recovered sufficiently. It would take weeks, but he was willing to wait that long for a date with Kaoru and he hoped that Kaoru shared his sentiment on that subject. Hirato looked reassuringly toward the black haired women when she glanced up at him with wide eyes, assuring her that what she thought was really what he had meant by his offer. The 9th Captain saw her nod and smiled happily, opening his mouth to say something, but Kaoru's lips brushed his and Hirato forgot what he was meaning to say entirely. The crimson haired man wished his wounds were healed now so he could go on a date with Kaoru in a few days, yet that was not possible due to the severity of the injuries sustained by the veteran Shinigami at the hands of the powerful Quincy who had interrupted the anniversary ceremony honoring those who had fought and those who had died in the battle against Aizen fifty years ago. Hirato felt her kiss him fully and looked somewhat surprised for a moment then kissed her back, running his hands through her hair.

"I know a perfect place for our first date, Kaoru," Hirato stated confidently, recalling Kaoru's love of the night and his own, in addition to how appropriate the setting was for their first date. The location was isolated enough from the rest of the Seireitei that no one passing through was likely to discover them and Hirato was the only person alive who knew of the place, since Teina had passed away centuries ago. It would serve as an excellent backdrop for their enjoyment of the night together, all the barriers that separated crumbling in the face of their shared love for each other. The crimson haired man could hardly have imagined that such a change could happen, especially given all the things that worked to keep them apart, but it had and he was never happier to find he was completely wrong about something. Hirato leaned forward and kissed her gently on the lips, one hand on her shoulder while the other rubbed her cheek softly. His wounds flared in pain just then and the 9th Captain rested his head on Kaoru's shoulder while he recovered, making sure to reassure her by saying, "I'm all right, Kaoru," his tone easing and his eyes filled with his love for her. When the pain subsided, Hirato leaned forward and kissed her passionately on the lips, running his hands through her hair and wishing never to leave her arms. His muscular arms guided her head to rest on his chest just below his chin and held her tightly, intending to embrace her to himself for as long as he could and not a second less. They had accepted their love for each other and now moved forward, despite the obstacles that loomed in their path. Hirato felt complete since Kaoru loved him, feeling confident that they could overcome any and all obstacles put in their way.

[Kaoru Murano]

Kaoru felt happy; happier than she had felt in a long time. She couldn't remember the last time she felt so at peace and content with someone other than Kyouya or her mother. She looked at the man whom she loved with all of her heart and soul, an impossible man who seemed to tame her darkness with just a few words and a brush of his hand. She had giggled, which was rare for her to do in front of others outside of her immediate family. She looked up, her blue eyes dancing in delight at his joke, amused at her teachers more lighter side. She had never seen Hirato in any other way than his usual calm and composed, more solemn side. She found she liked to see him smiling and bright , though she understood that this was a rare occurrence in and of itself. Kaoru looked over the man who had captured her heart merely by speaking those few words to her that one fateful night. He saw right through here, which caused the young 9th seat to be flustered and unable to know what to do after that. It wasn't until a day after that she really got to know the man who had seen everything she tried to hide. With everyone she hide it so well that she sometimes wondered if anyone knew her, but after Hirato came into the picture, she found that he understood her even if she put up a mask between herself and the rest of the seireitei.

Her body felt strange to be rid of so much of her darkness in this one moment of happiness. Normally, she could feel the shadows within her heart grip at her soul and claw hard, making her delve deeper into her chosen mask. Now, however, her shadows were a distant memory, at least for now. He told her he would keep his promise, and her heart fluttered, knowing that he was indeed a man of his word. She felt his hand reach for hers and gently held it, making Kaoru's heart flutter again in her chest as she looked up at the impossible man who seemed to accept her for everything she is and was, not caring at all about her past and accepting even her darkness within. She almost felt the tears coming to her eyes as she felt...accepted. That one word burned within her mind as she looked at Hirato. Sure, Kyouya and his family and friends loved Kaoru, but there was always something within their gaze that made her hold back. She wasn't sure what it was, but she kept herself just slightly out of their reach due to this. Her adoptive parents were the only exception to this, as their gazes didn't hold any lingering traces of doubt and worry her brother's and his friends had when looking at her. It was also due to this (in part) that Kaoru doesn't like to be around so many people, in the middle of large crowds, or in the middle of such large ceremonies. However, when it was just between her and one other person, she didn't mind. It was easier to be in Hirato's line of sight without seeing any doubt towards her or worry, no underlying emotions were directed towards her, only his honest ones.

Kaoru got enough courage from her rising emotions to brush her lips against his. Since it was just the two of them, she felt she didn't have to hold back. Kaoru.... Kaoru barely acknowledged her zanpakto spirit's quiet voice, for once it was not snapping at her about something or chiding her, or giving her advice when she is not sure she really wants it. Kaoru gave a mental nudge with her mind as she pressed herself closer to Hirato, enjoying the moments she could finally have with him. Akai Tsukihime scoffed as she did a mental sweep of her master's mind and body. The young spirit understood Kaoru's mental state now and knew not to step into her mind anymore. Kaoru heard Hirato say that he had the perfect place for their first date. The thought of a date with him made her heart beat faster and flutter as the mere thought of it sent Kaoru's mind all dizzy. She then felt him lean down and kiss her gently, her own body gravitating towards his, pulling herself closer as she also leaned into his hand, which to her felt amazing against her skin. Such strong hands.... Kaoru mentally said in her mind gently. She moved her hands up to rest on his chest, deepening the kiss ever so slightly, but before she could go any further, Hirato moved his head to her shoulder, and by his reitsu signature and face, she could feel that he was in pain. Her eyes tightened in her own emotional pain at seeing him hurt so much, remembering how torn she was when she first heard he was severely injured. "Hirato are you--" But before she could finish, he was already reassuring her that he was alright. This did nothing to pacify her, only make her wish ever so harder that she had listened more when Kyouya tried to teach her medical kido. In his eyes she saw his love for her, which made her knees want to go weak again. She was about to ask if he wanted to sit down on her bed to rest a bit, but she was stopped from the very beginning as he leaned down and kissed her passionately, catching her slightly off guard. She sighed contentedly and kissed him back, adding her own passion in with his. She loved the feeling of his hands in her hair. Silently Kaoru wished that this moment would last, not having to return to the outside world where she was being hunted, being judged, and being hated. She rested her head on his chest as they held each other, enjoying the moment they had between them. It was probably only a few moments to the outside world, but to Kaoru, this was the best few moments that she could ever ask for.