Post by Deleted on Nov 14, 2012 18:39:04 GMT -6
Depression and Sachiko were not strangers. The deaths of loved ones weighed heavily on her soul and the whispered of her mind laid the blame squarely at her feet. This led to a self-loathing so subtle she mistook it for mere ambition and power-hungry lust, which sparked her mind into a mad scramble for power, for with power came security and with security came peace. Never mind that experience told her that peace wouldn't last long. For while depression got along well with Sachiko, peace most certainly did not.
Another glass was downed and her mind buzzed for awhile more. She wasn't really trying to get drunk...no, she was on the job, and that path led in an entirely different direction. She was just trying to get a little...distant. And drowning your troubles, unfortunately, called for stronger stuff than just tea. Luckily, though, there was no shortage of that here, what with the constant drinking parties and unofficial celebrations that had lessened only slightly since Nanao-sama had ascended to her place of highest power. Sachiko was surrounded by paperwork, but her pen and working mind were set aside to make room for the photograph in the center of her desk, which smiled at her with an expression long forgotten.
It had been quite a while, she supposed, since those months when choices had needed to be made and she ended up saying goodbye to both of the men she loved. And yet, she still had this odd ache, the terrible longing that came from knowing how much you needed a thing once you'd lost it. Sachiko was, to put it in simple (and slightly offensive) terms, a "pack animal" in her obsession with close ties and family. She had friends, a few friends, but only one close enough to be what she craved, and that one was absent. Were today any other day, she would put on an amusingly determined expression and go out seeking what she wanted with a childish fire that ended up being more amusing than productive.
But today was not any other day. So today, she just sat staring tat the still ghostly image of a short figure with bright red hair. Another glass went down and she sat for a very long time wondering what to do. Shadows lengthened and the first stars began to twinkle in the light sky.
She got to her feet, downing her last glass She blinked to clear her head as she stood, tucking the small framed photo into her shirt to retrieve later. She waited a moment to anchor herself, and then scribbled a brief note should anyone come around looking for her, and then she left. At first, she had no real destination, but she found her feet taking a familiar path that she halted immediately. No. Old habits died hard, but perhaps newer ones died harder. She would get no comfort, she knew, at the end of this path.
So she stopped where she was, lingering on the roof in the middle of Seireitei, staring up at the sky with a forgotten bottle hanging from her fingers. The sky grew steadily darker as the sun left and the demons came out to play. Concern for safety or convenience was forgotten and she sank down to a sitting position, sitting down and taking one swig from the bottle. She was not quite lost, but she didn't really know her way back either. If she recalled correctly, however, this was a habit of hers that usually ended well, so she didn't worry herself at all about potential wayward paths.
"Well..." she sighed, staring up at the stars. "Guess it's just you and me, then, isn't it?" She leaned forward and watched the sky darken, silently waiting for some sign, something, to show her that she could get down from the roof and walk away satisfied. A soul, a demon, a god, a star, a ghost...anything would do, really. Tonight was her night to drink to the lost souls, but she didn't want to do it alone.